i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
