You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
