well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
