Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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