peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize