Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
