i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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