i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
