it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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