I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
