he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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