Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want to make a zoo with you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize