super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
