It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
