I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
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