You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
