So drunk its hurt
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
time to smoke my breakfast
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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