RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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