That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
