I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This baby is an asshole
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
