I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize