in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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