then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
