it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
