That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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