it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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