Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
