the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
