i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
