He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
