He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
