remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
