quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
