I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
