Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
