No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
