i wish starbucks made bloody marys
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
