Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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