Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
