the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
