I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
