I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
