That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
