I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
