True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize