Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sponge bath it is.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
