I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
