What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
