some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
