Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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