that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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