Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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