operation harelip BJ is a go
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
