Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
