cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
