Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
